Yesterday I realized something that caught
me by surprise; especially since a few years ago I promised that this would
never ever happen. What is this realization you ask? Well to put it plain and
simple I am my mother’s daughter.
I have my mother’s elegant cheekbones,
complexion and fair skin; we share the same laugh and deep brown eyes. We’re
both stubborn and have a tendency of mothering every one around us. We’re both
very strong women who take charge and strive for the very best.
I truly am my mother’s daughter. Over the years
I’ve picked up quite a few habits and character traits from her some knowingly
but most unknowingly. This got to me to thinking why was I so against this a
few years ago? Then it hit me. A few years ago I saw my mum as just that my mum
(my NAGGING mum to be more precise).
It’s only recently that I’ve started
seeing my mum as a wife, a daughter with the aging parents, the first-born
daughter (with a quite a number of dependent siblings and their families), a
woman dealing with issues that a woman her age deal with, she’s a friend to
others dealing with the issues associated with having friendships and she’s
also a Christian dealing with the numerous issues that come with being a
Christian in the 21st century. It suddenly dawned on me; she is all
those people even though she’s my mum.
I have slowly began to see things from her
point of view and I have slowly began to understand why she is the way she is,
why she says some things and why she does some of the things she does. I have slowly
begun to understand her a bit better and this has really helped our
relationship.
| My mum is definitely not into the Gilmore girls type of relationship |
My mum has made it abundantly clear that she’s my mother and that
we’ll never be friends. Why you wonder? It’s because she’s part of a generation
that was brought up that way, she was brought up believing that children and
parents cannot be friends. The parent child boundary must be maintained at all
times. Now this is not to say that I cannot share things with her or have a
mother daughter relationship with her. Not at all. It just means that at all times we’ll have to
maintain that boundary. I always struggled with this concept however seeing my
mother as a daughter, a wife, a friend and a Christian has made it easier to
accept this aspect of our relationship.
So to anyone who looks at their mum as
nagging mum or rolls their eyes when she pulls up in the drive way and enters
the house at the end of the day; to anyone who wishes that she could be best
friends with her mum just like in movies strain yourself and see her as more
than your mum. It’ll better and deepen your relationship with her. You’ll also
learn a lot from observing her and you’ll appreciate her even more while she’s
still alive.
